This is a very quick blog, it´s Tuesday and I´m sat in the internet cafe. Weather here is cold and Monday was wet but it´s nice to see the real Spain and not the Tourist view point. Not doing much, went to the shopping mall in Alacante today and priced up a new Lap top they are going for around 599 Euros which is around 500 GBP not bad but need to do some research on net.

Feeling OK a little down not sure why but I think I´m coming around to what I have to do and it´s not going to be easy but more about that when I get back to the UK.

To my special friend, hope you are well and work is being good to you.

Hope to put a another note on my blog before I return.

See ya soon xx

Woke up this morning felt good, two hours and 6 cups of tea later it hit HANG OVER FROM HELL well I exaggerate a bit, but I just could not stop drinking tea, could not eat anything until 3pm. Been cleaning the house from top to bottom, why do we do this before we go away? Any way all packed and nearly ready to go now. I have one slight problem though I bloody hate flying.

The thought of a two hour wait at the airport is really getting to me, also the thought of getting up at 4.30am on a Sunday is not filling me with joy either, I know it will be worth it when we get there but I just dislike the travelling bit. I want to go to Australia and America yeah right I think I'll have to stick to web cams on the internet.

Ah well that's it from me for a few days, I'll try and log in whilst in Spain and put down some words. Here are some pics of the house and the street I will be at for the next 5 Days.

See ya soon xx



This was the house last January.



And the street last January.

FRIDAY (even though done Saturday morning).

A day late but never mind, I was on the tiles last night so missed the chance to put my normal blog up. Anyway, Friday well LC didn't turn up for our meeting as promised due to an over run meeting but her email made me laugh. Nothing really happened today, RB's last day as she is starting her 6 month travelling and you can click here to see her own blog.

School run was good, meg's excited as she has a B'day party to go to and as a typical girl is wondering what she is going to wear. Managed to get her to eat a small meal before we went, but I'm out as well, that's right MB has left the house!!

MATWL Nothing cos I'm out drinking with RB, 'D' and friends well work mates anyway.....

Tiger Tiger the location, time 5.30pm down a pint in 30mins not bad for someone well out of practise, say hello to nearly everyone, had a good chat with 'D' whilst it was quiet and found out about her early years in the big wide world, but I want to know more about this large office desk !!. Can't believe that our paths have crossed so many times but never got to meet but that's fete I suppose.

Jen is a right dark horse, in work she is the typical quiet hard working sole but when out you get to see the real side of here what a girl, great stories made me laugh. Some where through out the many conversations going on the discussion of thongs took hold well how you lot can wear them beats me but JS seems to think they are great as she is "very sensitive it that department but believe me they are really comfortable" OK I'll take your word for it. Then I was told that a certain person was wearing matching under wear and that her's had jewels, well I got to see the jewels but cannot comment if they were matching or not as I'm a gentleman and would never ask!!

As you can tell it was a really good night, I left just after 10pm as the rest were heading for the dance floor and I really don't dance and I had bugged these people all night so decided to say my good byes and head home.

I hope you enjoyed your dance session 'D' and I want to here all the goss please.

P.S Thanks for a great evening it's just what I needed, and no I wouldn't of done that I'm not that kind of man.

Thursday or Friday I'm lost this week, there again I'm always lost. The day started as normal, managed to do some jobs that have been piling up on file cabinet behind me, a lot went for recycling mind but managed to data input a lot, tried to get the application I built ready for the big showing to LC tomorrow, but I had a problem and had to call IT and as ever IT were absolute SHIT, how do they employ these monkeys, they know jack shit. "Oh I'll pop upstairs and check with networks" never to be seen again.

I had to sit there and explain what he needed to do to get it working again, am I paid for that shit.

Anyway enough moaning about work stuff.

Meg's had another good day in school came home and started her homework without having to ask her, I like this hope it lasts.

My business had a boost today, signed contract 2 years and ££ up front, great I'm now established two clients nearly three years worth of work paid for. I think I'll scan both the contract and the cheque for prosperity, now I need to sort out the business account and Liability insurance also I'll have to get a data protection licence. Had a wish list today from a client, nearly fell through the floor he wants complete mobile solution with use of laptops and PDA's the stuff on the list well he has been watching far to many SCI FI films although most of the stuff is out there I have just never had to work with the stuff. Until now though.

I had an unexpected email tonight, my special friend has just got MSN and we made contact, well that was nice even though it was a little on and off as 'D' had photo problems, I'm sure the system will sort it's self out though or I'll guide her through if it continues. Great to hear from you 'D' and thanks for adding me to your contacts ;) it means a lot. Anyway time to go now need to do some work before I shut down.

Time flies when your having fun, who am I kidding!! work was the usual grind chasing JC for comment forms so I can send out as it's part of my incentive but promised I would have them by lunch time but still not complete by 2.30pm well there's a surprise. KW asking me all sorts of questions today all related to his new projects, why is he asking me he supposed to be the bloody project manager I'm just a part time administrator.

Oh forgot to mention yesterday I got my envelope from LC but can't work out how much cos they have now given me a part time annual salary, LC recon's it is 3.8% rise where the hell do they get the .8% from? just round the thing up to 4%!! I'll have to compare wage slips to work out the real ££ benefit but I'm convinced that I will not be coming away with much if any, although she says I have worked very hard over many years and never got a proper reward, so you think 3.8% compensates. I DON'T THINK SO! I was so tempted to tell her my own business pays me £25 per hour but that's a thought not that I would burn bridges that way. Learnt the hard way a few years ago.

School run was a bit complicated tonight, Megan has started drama club after school so I had to pick up the neighbours kids first which went all wrong Luke tripped over fresh air and landed on his face, great blood every where, carried him to the car screaming and pouring blood, wiped him down with tissues only to find the smallest cut inside his lip you will ever see. Why does so much blood come from the lips? Any way after a chocolate treat and a glass of pop (with a straw of course not to get cold liquid on the cut oo I'm good!!) he was fine running around and playing as normal. When his mum came I had to explain the problem he just ran out of the house and demonstrated in LIVE action how he did it, well that made me laugh cos he fell over again this time though he kept his head up.

Meg's was fine they had a good day in school no problems although drama was a bit worrying they were pretending to kill each other!! great way to teach 8 year olds.

MATWL, came into my office to a stack of post and tones of emails all to do with the research I'm doing, 8 phone calls since 4pm and I'm now beat it's 9.30pm and I'm supposed to work till 10pm but I'm the boss and I say enough is enough. Had to send over documents to one client as they have no idea how to put a Project together so blasted them with all sorts of questions and documents I think this is going to come back and bite me though. But I've covered my arse as I feel the manager they have in this one place is useless and the owner has asked that I BCC him in all communication I wonder if they are looking to kick him out, no one seems very complimentary about him. Never mind at least I've got the contracts signed by either the owner or the CEO.

'D' I hope you had a good time at the cinema, you needed some time out, hope you are now smiling. email me if you want I'm here for you. Hope I'll see you Friday and you don't try and avoid me. Although if I was me I would avoid me also if that makes sense.

XX

Hard day today, work was OK, a bit quiet but managed to get a lot done in a 4hr time span, LC has told me she wants to sit with me on Friday for an hour to see the application a built for the Engineers audit, may get another contract yet!!

Meg's is now fine school was great, her teacher confirmed all OK no problems. She had piano lessons today and came home with a free music book, Meg's was well happy and even spent an hour or so practising, this she never normally does.

MATWL. had a nice email today, "Contract and Cheque in the post" yippee now I'm happy after all these years working my ass off for little money in one week I get not just one but two contracts both now signed and sealed and payments up front.

Just spent the past two hours reading a PDF document (White paper) as they call it and my eyes are now killing me so must go soon.

My friend 'D' has not had a good day in work today, I have sent her an email and hopefully we can talk about it, I know exactly where she is coming from as I have been there myself a few years ago and it is not nice, hope to here from you soon 'D' xx

Anyway enough from me I can't see the screen anymore so I need to give these tired old eyes some rest.

Well an end to a busy Monday work was OK but a little tedious, I think I am losing a friend as we don't seem to communicate as much as we did which is not good. I would hate to loose this friend but I would understand the reasons why.

Meg's had a good day today in school and no problems to speak of. I had four dance sessions to sit through this evening as she was dancing to Disney songs, you have to look interested.

MATWL stuff well got the white paper done and a service level agreement which I will send out tomorrow also my first invoice so money to start to come in soon.

My brother has just asked me to give him driving lessons but had to calm him down as the costs could be way to high.

Not much to say tonight maybe because it's now 9.30pm and I have been sat here since 4pm, made another pizza tonight just because it's quick and easy.

xx

Last day of the weekend boy it goes quick, completed another task in the bathroom coving all done and ready to paint, only the ceiling door frames and side panel to do now and the bathroom is all done!! boy this has been a hard graft project but it is starting to look really cool and trendy White & chrome with black tile floor. I will post photos I promise, also put the finishing touches to our bedroom actually found a picture we both like. So another room finally done.

Meg's went to the cinema today with her friend so she got out of the house for a few hours, she has been really well behaved this weekend please thank you's and taking things out to the kitchen when finished with now that's a miracle.

Just doing some research for matwl projects it's going to cost me £1,500 for the software I need and the PC's I can get for £800 for the two, both are very powerful machines will get all that once I'm back from Spain.

Just finished updating my iPod ready for tomorrow, added that Cinema Classics nothing to heavy although debating whether to add EMINEM 'Curtain Calls' I do have a varied taste in music I'm very mood orientated, if a stressful day then classical, if a dull day then a bit of Iron Maiden or Def Leopard even better some U2.

Ah that takes me back to my college days.

Anyway time I was making the beds, so that's me done for another day. Hope you had a good weekend 'D' and see ya tomorrow.

xx

A quiet sort of day today, went to PC World to price up some new hardware, playing around with figures at the moment to see if I can upgrade some of these PC's two of them are getting on a bit in age and my favourite one which is now 8 years old is starting to struggle under the strain although I have a PC only a year old and it does not run half as good as my favourite one.

Started reading the library literature this afternoon very heavy reading so only managed two hours and had to take a lot of notes to understand what they were trying to say. Popped into B&Q to get coving and artex for the bathroom ceiling, my job for the tomorrow morning.

Other than that not very productive, had an hour on the PC showing Megan web cams around the world great to pop into New York to watch people shopping then jump to Canada, Antarctica watching them drilling in the snow and finally ending up in Sydney to watch the sunrise over the harbour bridge then a quick scan of the travel cameras on sydney harbour bridge. Oh how sad are we on a Saturday evening, there again just got an email from a client re work which I have decided not to answer or look at until Monday as I no longer work weekends.

Well I hope 'D' is having a relaxing Saturday night and didn't suffer too much after the night out. I'm about to crack open so red wine and hopefully catch a nice movie on Sky we'll see.

That's it for today see ya soon xx

Can't believe I missed my diary note for yesterday! I was asked to issue an invoice for work carried out on one of my projects and I had not perfected my time billing software and before I knew it it was 10.30pm a little late to start writing up what I had done in the day so today you get two days worth.

Thursday:

Work well my Part time job anyway as I now have projects for my own business. More on that later. Nothing really happened there the usual loud KW and BB talking about her pending trip to Australia, lucky girl I do wish sometimes I was young free and single the thought of Australia or America really appeals to me at this moment in my life but alas I have to much responsibility to my family to just up and go.

Went to pick up Meg's from school and to see her teacher about the allegations, I was in there over an hour talking and trying to get to the bottom of the problem but both the teacher and I concluded we were never get to know what went on and who is telling the truth (or were we about to see the light). The teacher called Meg's into the room and disclosed to her who had made the allegations to which Meg's replied with a sad heart that she is my best friend why would my best friend say things like that to which we had no answer for her. Poor Meg's sat outside the class room patiently and didn't complain a bit on the way home even knowing it was her friend.

Started work late last night (I'll now call it matwl as that is my company name) by the time I cooked tea which was Pork chops n veg by the way, I started on my email 14 from clients who I only saw a few days before but are really keen to get their respective projects off the ground both want me to invoice them up until April 6th which means a nice lump sums in January GREAT!! then one client wants hourly rate @ £25 billed at the end of each month already for them I have racked up 6hrs time flies when you are engrossed.

As you can imagine I'm ecstatic about the turn around even though I was told to go it on my own last year by a good friend of mine in Scotland and he was right I have been working on my own now since December and already have done 2 jobs and now secured two long term contracts with very little marketing so how they found me god only knows.

I must comment though that I miss doing emails so if 'D' doesn't mind I may drop you a few emails now and then just to hear from you. xx

Friday:

Work was good dragged a little though but it was OK, Bondy had a birthday today and seeing him with PINK balloons on his head was a sight and made me smile, he's a nice chap a little miss-understood though but I believe a gentle giant. BB wanted so advice on how best to deal with some IT issues which as usual I gave, then I was called to a meeting with IT and MK which was a joke, they asked if I would take back my IT role as the quality of change requests they were getting were really bad, explained that I only work 4 hours and I have an 8 hour work load to do in that time there is no chance that I can get to do that as well, I'm happy to keep my IT admin role and nothing else.

School, revelation time teacher called me in again but this time I got to the truth, seems meg's has an imaginary friend which I knew about back in infant school but thought that she had grown out of it, seems not, Meg's imaginary friend is now her sister oh boy have I got to talk to Meg's about this, anyway the problem her friend accused Meg's of was partly from an event in infant school (Two years ago) and the bullying never existed it was all made up. At last we have solved the problem but also discovered an new one Meg's imaginary sister, we have spoken and we'll see where this goes, I'll keep you posted.

I had to go to the library tonight to get some research books for matwl, they don't have a good range of IT books which is rather worrying as these projects require serious research to build correctly but will have to manage with the two I managed to find both by the way over 1,000 pages oh boy what have I agreed to do!!

One of my clients is a law related business and so I have to learn how court papers are produced and written up I'm looking forward to dusting off my grey matter and learning a new skill.

'J' parents rang tonight from Spain they are all settled but want us to take over lots of TETLEY TEA as it is very expensive over there, I have asked them to ask the local internet cafe to contact me so I can sort out access to my office network as I cannot afford to take time out now. They have emailed me already and they have put a PC aside for me so I can now make a connection between my office network and the internet cafe, this means I should be able to update my diary whilst in Spain. oh and I'll have access to my email, I'm also taking the laptop to test out working from the sun terrace with a glass of wine (Red of course) you never know I may get to like it and not come home.

Anyway it's now 8.45pm and listening to classical music "The best Cinema Classics" I got from the library it's so relaxing it's untrue. Just need some VODKA now 'D' I hope you didn't get to drunk and I say didn't cos I know you aint going to read this until tomorrow at the earliest.

xx

Had a good day in work today if you can have a good day that is, more disturbing news when I got to Meg's school though.

Unfortunately one of her best friends has accused her of bullying and calling her names to cut a long story short her mother has made a formal complaint I was called in to have a private chat and to question Megs over the allegations with her teacher, meg's did not have a clue what she was on about, teacher asked me to question her again when I got home but not to disclose who is making the complaint.

I have spent two long hours talking about the issue and in short she has no idea what I'm talking about, however I have come to a conclusion that there could be a case of jealousy. Megan will not sit with her at lunch cos she talks all the time and meg's can't finish her lunch, although her other friends are fine, the girl in question sits next to teacher and meg's had said something to teacher which this girl is now accusing her of saying direct to her. Meg's and another girl have this habit of pinching each others cheeks (I have seen this happen between them it's a bit of a joke they have going) this other girl is accusing her of doing it to her. Words allegedly used meg's understands and does not like them and will not use them. (we don't even use them). I put her through the mill and all the above things have been mentioned with names attached but non included this girl although she has been mentioned through the conversation with no direct link.

can girls get this jealous that they fabricate things??

The allegation is so serious the Head is involved so fun and games tomorrow night as I have to go and tell them my findings. And suggest a serious case of jealousy all because meg's won't have lunch with her, doesn't pinch her cheeks.

Icing on the cake teacher says girl will not come to school and lately has been late because of this bullying, asked megs if anyone is late for school oh yeah this girl asked why she is late cos her brother won't get out of bed, oh how long has this been going on? "since we started big school she's never on time!! except today she was in school before us"

So as you can imagine I'm not very happy with the situation but more news tomorrow when I have confronted the Head and the teacher.

Anyway that's enough from me tonight too pissed off to do more.

Well it's Tuesday evening and I'm just coming down from the ceiling, I have booked a doctors appointment as this anxiety can't be right I have suffered with this now for over two years and although it's not half as bad it still get's to me.

News on today well I have signed a 2 year contract to build a system similar to Vectus the agreed cost is £7,500 + costs for software, travel, meetings etc. also agreed a 2nd contract to build an application to provide court documents this will be billed by the hour @ £40 there will be a lot of hours on this one I would say around 8/9 months to complete so quick calculations 2 hrs per day time 3 days is £240 per week that's £960 per month x 8mths another £7,600 not bad for a few hours talking.

Things are finally looking up in the sad world of MB3 the auction site is also looking up more new members today that's another couple of quid.

Now the nervous bit putting it all into action, where to start and research into the best route to go.

Busy times ahead but I think that's the fun in my line of work.

Great to talk although not surprised on the application thingy that means you have to suffer me for a while longer!!

See ya soon xx

Quiet day today, work was quite easy going I think I am calming down a bit and not letting anything get to me, it's taken ages to grasp that one as I was always willing to help anyone out but did not get any thanks for it, now I do what I want when I want. Well sort of.

There was a last minute panic as LC is going to an IE tomorrow and at 2.20pm emailed me for some stats which I duly sent back to her with what I had which was only 4 months worth out of twelve but do I care no siree you have what I got or nothing at all. That felt good.

Collected the children from school as usual no injuries they were pretty quiet actually, then they came home and re in acted Peter Pan with plastic swords again no injuries but that was more luck than anything else.

Currently battling with some software that I'm trying to get to work, very important stuff too as it has all my internet projects on and I now have 12 jobs to do but cannot get the thing to work, I have emailed the company in America but they work to PST time which means they close at 11am. Never mind I'm chilled really I am.

Got to chat with 'D' today, that was nice my 'D' battery is now charged for a day or so anyway must remember to talk on Wednesday just to keep me going over the weekend. By the way one day I'm going to turn up at the gym to watch this athlete go through the paces. I'm really impressed with the commitment and you look great xx

Anyway time to start tea I'm going to attempt making a pizza nothing to elaborate though probably cheese, ham and pineapple.

Thoughts: Quite mellow today nothing is going to get to me I hope!! see ya.

Well it's Sunday night already, where is time going? spent the day cleaning tiles 280 of them and I'm beat now. Not much happened today apart from that, have not stepped out of the house since finishing work Friday.

I had a lot of anxiety today I woke up with it so must have had a bad night, not sure why I still suffer from this but it does get to you after a while. Just been watching animal planet while the rest are at the Theatre watching Peter Pan, I find these types of programmes relaxing.

Well it's back to the grind stone tomorrow hopefully I'll have a nice week. Yeah right!!

Anyway that's enough from me today, hope my special friend had a good weekend xx

What a day, been doing my D.I.Y bathroom all day, started at 10am and finished at 6pm, nearly finished this project although I started it back in October but I was being a bit brave as I gutted the room. We have a downstairs bathroom so I had to dig up the concrete floor and re-lay all the underground pipes, built a walk in shower and tiled floor to ceiling, I last done this room 5 years ago and vowed never to do it again but here I am just finishing the project for the second time.

I was doing the costs of this project the other day and so far it is in excess of £3K but if you want the best then you have to pay a price. We now have a jet bath, walk in shower, ultra modern WC and a large sink which has a design flaw, run the tap too hard and the water comes over the top.

When I'm done I'll take some pics to put on here.

I'm feeling OK today, not much stress apart from first thing when I had to take out the WC so I could bolt the thing down and I pushed the flush to make it lighter to move only to remember I had disconnected it from the waste pipe so water all over the floor. Lucky no one had used the loo before hand. Just think of the disaster if I had an upstairs bathroom boy I was lucky.

I was honoured tonight 'J' made the meal for us which was very nice sausage casserole great after a hard days work.

New Theatre tomorrow to see peter pan but I think 'J' is taking Megs and her friend so I will be home alone for a few hours.

Anyway that's enough from me for today, hope your day was as exciting as mine xx

Ye ha it's Friday, although this year is going very quickly, in laws moved to Spain today, they meet with the removal people at their new home today they fly back with us. We go out at the end of January for winter sun and booze!!

A friend once told me Flapjacks whilst on a diet is not a good idea, if they grovel then I maybe persuaded to make some. But it will have to be GOOD!

I have started dialogue with 'J' and so far so good, I think 17 years together is worth saving don't you? I must admit that some of the problems are down to me but certainly not the money issue which is what killed me. We'll see how it goes, I must thank you for your ears though it does make it a lot easier to bounce things of someone else who is not emotionally attached if you get what I mean.

The LC letter thing is to do with appraisal last December, I have been assured that it's been dealt with but so far nothing, depending on what amount it is will decide my future with AD to little and I can't afford to stay PT. Although next week I have a meeting Tuesday PM with a possible 3 year contract for my website business if I can pull that off then I'll be happy cos the money is more than AD salary and I can stay as I am which would be cool.

Work today was a little hectic, KW really getting stressed as he takes over from RB stuck my iPod on and let him whinge to me in tone of Iron Maiden!! told RB if he continues then I'll be going to PS as it's not fair I have to be dragged into the shit which he clearly cannot do and is way beyond him. He tried to but into a conversation an engineer was having with me today and was told in no uncertain words to "get lost as you don't know what your talking about" his face was a picture!

Had to spend dosh today on IT stuff my network hub went down yesterday and Megan has been nagging for a web cam as her holiday friends all have them and she feels left out so agreed to install one but only used when I'm logged on to keep an eye on her. Total spend well lets say over £100 things aint cheap are they.

Well I'm all typed out now, got to continue with work on the bathroom tomorrow so I don't suppose I'll be having lunch at IKEA.

Thoughts: Headache! head to sore for thoughts, did make fish in batter tonight which tasted quite nice. I should start my own restaurant.

Not a bad day today, nice and sunny although cold, feeling OK, had my TV fix for the month although I really need to see the first episode of "Invasion" as I struggled to get to grips with it although it was good, the end bath scene was a little predictable but will hopefully see the first episode on Sunday, that I hope will put the missing bits into place.

"LOST" well what an ending, out of all the mysteries on the island only one has been given away that being the smoke, The kidnap was very good and gives the new series something to look forward too and the clips at the end well I can't wait until the spring. If you want to cheat and see what's happening in series two in America then click here.

Just as my marathon TV watching was about to start 'J' announces that we have a marriage problem and it's been going on for a while "No shit Sherlock" we didn't discuss very much but I agreed and I'm now happier that she has realised that there is something wrong. Now I have to decide do I try and work things out or head for the exit. Oh and I think this came to light because I had a picture on my old mobile of another woman. And before anyone asks I have never been unfaithful, I admit I have been close and tempted but it ended before it started if you get what I mean.

Anyway this has now got me thinking so I better stop now before I say something I'm going to regret.

Oh work well that was the same old, still no letter from LC. But I'm not expecting a quick turn around.

Bye for now. xx

Well I must have that winter blues problem, wall to wall sunshine today and boy do I feel great, or is it the fact I said more to D today than anyone else. I plugged in my iPod and got on with it. Don't think KW was impressed but hey what do I care I'm only there for the money not the chatting.

got out at 2.30pm on the dot sorry I missed you again D xx, picked the tribe up as usual although mums were giving me funny looks today probably cos I was stood there singing to myself with my iPod plugged in, at least I didn't start dancing now that would have been a laugh might try that one tomorrow. Imagine a line of mums in the play ground all dancing there again where I live not a good idea.

Megan disappeared with he friend to KFC her mum came over and insisted on taking them all out, who am I to argue. Had an hour to myself which was great. Sister in law just been over cutting all the girls hair and ran the new business idea by her she bit my hand off for it so there could be mileage in it but more research needs doing on it first.

Megan so far has three holidays to go to this Summer, two weeks in Lanzarote, Two weeks in Alacante and where ever we decide to go is she lucky or what the whole of the summer holidays jetting around Europe.

Not working late tonight as I've been told about a new TV programme 'Invasion' starts at 9pm on E4 and at 10 the last two episodes of LOST back to back so I'm sorted tonight 9-12am TV watching I recon that's the most TV I've watched in years.

Made a quiche tonight turned out ok, not as good as my home made flapjacks though I'll have to make some soon.

Any way time to go getting shouted at cos I cocked up the tumble dryer, my instructions were, when you get home pop the stuff in the basket into the tumble dryer and switch on. This I done, now I supposed to have gone through the basket and split the items into various piles and adjust the machine to suit. What am I a bloody mind reader.

Bye for now

Oh boy is it horrible and wet or what! I only had to pick up Megan today so managed to stay dry in the car until the last minute, normally I pick up a little boy in the school next door and then wait in the yard for the other two who don't finish until 10 mins after the little school.

Returning full time is definitely on the cards had a bounced direct debit today not had one of those in years, had to frantically move stuff around all sorted now though even the bank commented and then gave a little good news "no charges" cool! I don't do overdrafts. but it hit home that this is no longer practical and I have not got time to monitor accounts and move things around all the time.

I have decided to wait for the magic white letter which is now two months over due but KW has promised that LC has dealt with it. RF asked me today if I would come back full time told her I would look for another job first as I don't see a future at AD anymore, she could see my point of view although I love the place the job it's self is driving me mad.

And working with KW well that's a no go, I have heard that RB is not being replaced they are passing stuff over to KW to look after, now, my way of thinking is that if I go back FT then I'm going to be roped into doing some of their work and that does not appeal to me at all.

I suppose 11 years is long enough in one place but what do I look for? I don't have any formal qualifications like degrees. I can't afford to go back studying oh well something to think about over the coming weeks. Probably decide fully whilst in Spain.

My friend's B'day today hope you had a good day and being spoilt! mine not far off now oh can't wait another year flies past.

Thoughts: cup of coffee time! my new project is in my mind at the moment need to get it all down on paper may do it later.

Oh sh** it's 5pm got to make tea, may pop back later for an update we'll see what to do for tea ain't got a clue have not even thought of it helppppppppp....

Well here I am again, feeling tons better now, today was a mixed day, some home truths thrown in which threw me off balance a bit but I understand where they are coming from and agree.

Work: Well it seems LC wants me to do MORE bloody work, I only work there 4.5 hours and can't do all the work I have now. She wants me to arrange for garages to give us their lead times and for me to put it together and update everyone. KW as ever doesn't have a clue what he is doing.

Tell me do I have M.U.G on my forehead?

D's birthday tomorrow but is skiving off work bloody cheek some of us have to work through our birthdays 18th Feb by the way, ahhhhh it's a Saturday shit take that back. Hope you have a great day and loads of fun xx

Home: Got a new business idea late this afternoon rang a few contacts and they were all well impressed, that has given me a new lease of life for the moment anyway, feel a lot more positive. Will let you in on it when I've done the paperwork [Copyright stuff].

Had all the kids over after school so the house was MAD for 30mins managed to do some work not much though and Megan is now on MSN with her holiday buddy down in Milton Keynes so listening and monitoring what they are up to. Oh what it's like to be 8 years old again.

Thoughts: [D's spooky bit] well I'm pretty thoughtless [don't even go there] at the moment I think the past few days have wiped them out. Could do with a drink though.

Any way that's enough from me today happy B'day 'D' xx

Well had a bit of a tidy up not just in my office but on this blog as well. The rest of the day has been clean, clean and more clean.

Thoughts:
None really, I have calmed down a bit since Friday and as promised to a special friend I won't SPOOK you again!xx

Although you did make me smile on Saturday when I approached you, your face was a picture can't imagine what was going through your head at the time though!

Anyway back to work tomorrow whoopee theirs exciting!

Didn't get chance to update yesterdays diary note, not much happened really sat watched Simpson's (Megan's choice not mine) then put through re run of celebrity Big Brother. So what do other people with a family do on a Saturday night?

2.30AM got woken up by Justine cos she thought someone was in the house, dived out of bed not thinking straight ran down stairs done a scan around the house all quiet think the fish got a little excited as they were swimming madly around the feeding hole so gave em a snack! ah bless.

Got back to bed Justine fast asleep, great what back up I had if there was someone in the house. Two minuets later I heard it, scratching in the attic well we all know what that is MICE!!

We had mice a few years ago but got rid of them. I think these are travelling through as we have a sonic device running which they don't like. There's a thought mice with a back pack and sleeping bag. (Travelling mice) sorry where was I....

Ah yes woke up at 8.30am Megan putting on Charlie & Chocolate factory on great no lie in today.

Sunday what do people do on a Sunday? we have late breakfast around 10ish nothing special toast cereal, then we dropped a suitcase down the in-laws as the emigrate to Spain in a few weeks.

Then Tesco for the weekly shop now theirs a trip. As I now do all the cooking I get to do the shopping so I have two girls following me around like lost sheep while I pick the food it's great, especially when they get to the freezer isle. I'm heading for the cash register. No frozen in my trolley oh noooo fresh stuff please any day.

I'm now supposed to be cleaning the office while Sunday lunch is cooking (Roast pork today, 1hr cooking time) but got side tracked a little.

I hope to be back later. What is this celebrity Big Brother all about anyway have you watched any of it ?

Day 3



Just got back from a late Christmas party, really should be called a new year party though, all the children had a great time but I think the adults will be asleep by 7pm tonight.

Megan on a one wheel bike gave me palpitations, but she enjoyed herself, I noticed not many Claims people at the party. The Christmas present she got was brill Megs & Mum are currently giving it a go (Bratz board game putting make up up dummy heads).

Had an email this morning which was interesting reading and again the contents were 100% right, feel a bit guilty now though but I'm sure the sender will accept my apologise.

Friday night so what happened I here you say well Dave has not changed a bit and I mean that, no grey hair lucky bastard! we had a drink and chatted for hours about all sort of stuff it was really good bumped into my old next door neighbour (D.C in the police) he recognised me straight away it's got to be close on 17 years since we last saw each other. So if you fancy doing some crime DON'T they remember faces to well!!

By the end of the evening we both commented that it didn't feel like 10 years since we last saw each other. Both agreed to stay in touch this time.

Well I'm going to have a bite to eat now (Fried rice with ham) healthy eh! I may be back later to put the rest of the days goings on so catch you later.

xx

DAY 2

OK Friday what's been happening well really surprised to see how early people log into PC's I thought I was bad.

Work well there we have it! it came and went not much to report here I have been there far too many years now I think. It was suggested I look to move on but not sure what I can do and where to go?

Thoughts:
I just got a text message from an old friend I have not seen since 1989 (Night club era) meeting him tonight in the Discovery pub in Cyncoed can't wait to drink back in my old haunt, used to live in cyncoed by the way. Not sure if I can trust myself though as I feel a new lease of life coming on and I'm looking to LIVE again stuff everything else.

Must say thanks to my mum for giving Dave my mobile number cheers me dear.

Well this is different my last blog was public access but I have decided that 2006 will be a private year and my blogs will be very personal and will contain my deepest thoughts and gripes, good bad and what ever I am feeling at the time.

So where do I begin, well first off how am I feeling, I would love to say great full of beans and raring to go but I can't, I still don't feel 100% and not sure if I ever will. When I get home I can feel myself getting stressed worked up and it pisses me off big time, depression well that was bad over the new year but I suppose everyone goes through this at some point in their life.

I have a special friend (I hope I still have after they have read this) this person has helped me so much they are totally unaware of it, you see I have got myself into a rut, so deep I can't get out, I'll try and explain.

A few years ago I was a Group Scout Leader I loved it, getting out of the house every Monday night, going to visit the kids at camp at weekends it was great but I started to struggle with Work, Brentons project etc.

Taking too much on as they say, or was it something else... anyway it was suggested to pack in Scouts, stupid me went along with it, then I terminated my dealings with Brenton as well, to cut a long story short I lost all my friends, and over time lost my way in life.

Lets say I got up at 6am go to work back home go to bed. That's it for the past two years.

I'm not ready for that life yet I want some excitement, I want to be human again. So this I hope will be the start of it, letting out how I feel and what is on my mind at the time.

Well that's my background and where I am today so on with my thoughts....

To my special friend please do not get annoyed with what I put down but it is what I am feeling and thinking at the time.

Work: Well that's a good place to start, got in early again, copper top was not in he was in Swansea thank god, he really does get to me he is such a prick.

Left at the usual time 2.30pm put my mobile on vibrate as I had my iPod on and didn't want to miss a call, I suggested to someone to call if they had email problems, but no call so it must have been cool.

Picked Megan up from school, bloody freezing standing in the playground couldn't wait to get in and put the kettle on. Put the Christmas decorations away for another year and possibly the last I even thought that when I was on the ladder putting them in the attic strange eh!

Then cleaned up and made tea (spag bol)does everyone do this stuff or is it just me?

Then departed the old life to start my 2006 blog which is where I am right now at 8.45pm

My thoughts right now:
I miss my special friend simple as that. I also miss my old life easy going always up for a laugh going out with friends, I miss having a hug now and then nothing more but with feeling you know what I mean? I really miss not being able to cry, let out my frustrations, I miss talking open, talking not being afraid to say the wrong thing.

I HATE BEING DEPENDABLE MARK (A name that has been given to me by my family).

I hope my first instalment has not upset anyone.

xx

must see my new business www.carpartauctions.co.uk