A week on....

Well does a week go fast or what, a week of work, panic and work. Well the evenings were made up of not doing much trying to work but really not getting far, so gave up around Wednesday and have been playing a computer game ever since.

The office has been quiet, KW left for NY on Tuesday and yes I did get the picture and here it is KW taking a pic on his phone of the camera to show us when he gets back nest week.

if you want to see the live cam then click here.

My friend has been away all week which I hope has helped them and that they are now working towards a brighter future together, me well I was always on the outside so nothing more to say on this. Although I'm still ashamed of what I did and I'm not sure if 'D' will ever speak to me again, next week will tell. But I wouldn't blame her one bit if she ignored me.

Went out last Saturday to Tiger Tiger and that was good, just getting out and meeting different people was great had a few glasses of red wine but stayed sober, met some great people and had a laugh, I noticed that some of my personal items at home had be gone through but didn't mention it, 'J' mentioned on Sunday that she had a good look around as she does not trust me and was jealous of my Saturday night out she admitted that if I had left my phone at home she would have gone through that as well. Sorry love to disappoint, but I will be going out again and will meet even more people.

How I'm feeling right now, well better than I was last week, although I would love to go out again for a drink but I better not don't want to upset the apple cart.

Meg's was sent home ill from school yesterday so I left work at 11.30am and had to work from home whilst trying to care for an 8 year old with a temperature of '102' she was great though very little complaining, although she did ask this morning if I could work at home rather than go to the office but explained that her grampy was coming and that was enough. OK daddy shall I pack your bag for you? he he. kids eh!

Tonight she asked to spend quality time with me tomorrow, I asked what she meant and the response was going to a coffee shop for a drink and a chat, she has been watching far too much TV.

Anyway, that's enough from sad old me talking to myself. Cheer up son it'll never happen ;)

After all that

Well after making the BIGGEST mistake of my life and learning the most important lesson of my life NEVER LIE !! no matter what the circumstances it's time to move on, Dave my mate has been nagging me for weeks to go out on a Saturday night well I finally agreed to his constant texts and phone calls, although I am a little worried as he keeps saying it will be like old times. Well old times were pulling girls and generally larking around, I think I'm a little past that one but don't expect me back home till 4 or 5 in the morning I'm aiming to let off steam. Watch out Cardiff I'm on my way. Oh and my two left feet!!

I still need to get hold of a copy of Da Vinci Code may go out and buy a copy tomorrow as I have nearly finished the book I'm currently reading 'J is for Judgement' Kinsey Milhone investigates. Written by Sue Grafton. The series is really good read I have bought practically the whole series and slowly reading my way through although I am not the quickest of readers.



A colleague in work is travelling to New York on Tuesday and he will be texting me when he is stood right here, he is going for a week and staying in hostels, which I think is very brave of him especially as he is travelling alone for the first part of the trip.

I am going to try and capture the image like this one and post it here for all to see!!

Well hopefully my blogs will be more interesting now I am writing to my mass audience which mainly are American who I imagine are hoping to read all about Cardiff or Barry which it's not. Ah well must finish here as I have work to do. Must pay the bills.

The end.....

This is for a friend just in case they log on.

OK I admit I lied, but you must understand that I have been to hell and back and looking back on what I have said and done I feel embarrassed, firstly I genuinely do like you, but for reasons which are beyond me I went way over the mark, the phone call, emails (apart from one and you know the one), the diary thing, I used you as an excuse to off load all my emotions and in doing so I got completely wrapped up in something that was just not there.

Put it another way if at any point you said lets be together then I would have walked right there and then. And I honestly thought that would happen, scary looking back on what frame of mind I was in. Lying well that is not my thing, at the time I was looking for a reaction from you what reaction I'm not sure, probably the opposite to what I got, you see I was convinced that you would email, text or do something, so convinced I would be waiting on my PC just to see you arrive hoping you would chat on MSN and I would feel gutted when nothing appeared.

I suppose I was creating a situation which I'm really embarrassed about, but I need to tell you as I value your friendship, it's only since you requested space that I started to look back and realise what I had done and what I put you under. Lies, well the phone is the only one. And I'm genuinely sorry for that one, the text today was as a friend nothing else all I want is for you to be happy.

Well if you don't respond in any way I'll understand

Small world...

Well a quick blog tonight as it's Apprentice night on BBC, oo I do like Mr Sugar "Your Fired".

I was just surfing the net tonight, my head is shot so did not attempt any work. The internet is a small place that's all I can say, there is this chap I see in the play ground waiting to collect the children most days and always wondered what he does for a living, well I stumbled across his blog and website take a look. I'm sure I will now talk to the chap, what a talented artist and also amazing that he is self taught and only been doing it for the past three years.

Also I went reading some blogs I have found interesting, and Dan had some interesting films listed so went and had a look, well I must see the Da Vinci Code Looks like another block buster from Tom Hanks. And now I must get the book and read before the film comes out. Cheers Dan your a star!!

I'm hoping that my passion for computer webdesign and application building comes back soon so here's hoping for inspiration!

Thoughts.......

I think I need to walk away from my business, I'm not enjoying it anymore, I don't know why but I'm struggling to get things to work. When I done programming for free I loved it no pressure to produce and it was fun, now I do work under contract I find the buzz has gone and I struggle to get my head into it.

I feel like a writer with writers block. I'm sat here and nothing is happening, I'm going around in circles. tonight for instance I have been working on a simple programme but I have deleted it three times because I just can't get it to work. Now the clock is ticking as this one has to be with the client well before 31st March and at the moment it's still in pieces and no where near completion.

My old business partner just rang and he knew exactly what I mean he has just got out and is now looking to put his feet up, alas I can't do that as I need the money to survive.

My dear friend is travelling to the Canneries next week just her and her husband to try and sort stuff out, I'm really pleased for her which is really strange surely after everything I have said and done over the past few months I should be gutted over the news but I'm not, I'm really happy for her I suppose it's seeing someone trying to put their lives back on track and time alone should be the key.

Although I have said to her I expect a great big smile on her face when she returns to work. Good luck babes I really hope that this is your turning point and all the crap you have endured will now be laid to rest.

My Megs is going away in July for two weeks so I'm hoping to use the free time to try and do the same if I can last that long.

Anyway, if anyone knows how to over come writers block then please let me know I'm desperate honest!! or if anyone has a job I'll certainly look at that also.

Oh well I'll try again for a few hours and then pack up. ;( bye xx

And there's more

My friend Dave called tonight, had a good chat and as ever he says what the fuck are you still there for, after everything that has happened why am I making myself ill? well I suppose that is a good question and here are my answers:

1/ I can't afford to move out.
2/ I'm afraid of the unknown.
3/ I don't want to be alone.
4/ My Meg's

I know they sound weak but I have put all my energy into this relationship and I have nothing left, I'm beat.

Why I should stay:

1/ My wife still loves me.
2/ My daughter loves me.
3/ I have built a lovely home.

What the hang up is? I can't forgive her for what she has done, I know it sounds stupid but I just can't let go of the past, all my/our dreams wrecked over money. Money that I knew nothing about until she started asking me to cover some of her bills and that is when I uncovered the whole picture.

Can you re-build a life after 17 years? Can you find someone else to share your dreams and goals with? can there be a person who I can hold and feel happy? can you fall in love all over again?

So many questions but no answers. I'm trapped by my own weakness. Also why do I feel so guilty, why do I feel like I'm the one in the wrong here?

Oh what a mess, and there is no easy answer to any of the issues, just that I no longer love her. End of.

Harder than I thought

Back to work today, but I thought after four days it would be easier to see my friend, but it was not, I said hi and had a quick chat, refrained from sending little emails, basically ducked away, thinking that would curb the feelings I have.

Alas it didn't, I'm not sure what is going on really I feel like I'm 16 again, I hope time will help on this as I really need to give her some space to sort her own life out she deserves that at least.

God why is life so hard sometimes? anyway I'm early today as I have to get down to some serious work tonight. If I get chance I'll add a little more later.

End of another day

Umm, Shopping well that was fun, left her in the clothes isle and went and done the shopping myself, I hate people who try something that they have not got a clue what they are doing or talking about.

Here's an example: Had a night off from cooking Saturday and what was produced well half cooked frozen beef burger, beans and fried egg with curly chips.

I don't think any of us eat the lot. Enough said on that subject.

Anyway back to Tesco shopping, here's what I decided to buy for this weeks main meals:

Chicken Breasts for Chicken Curry.
Pork ready cut into chunks for Sweet n Sour stir fry (Fresh vegetables).
Fresh Pizza.
Mince Meat for Spag bol.
Whole Chicken & fresh veg for Sunday Lunch (Long gone now but very nice even if I say so myself).
Fresh Sausages for Sausage Casserole.

Guaranteed that this will change as the week goes on, you know what it's like when you get home from work you don't feel like doing a certain meal, well we'll see. Just hung some pictures in the bedroom, not an easy task as we have a square picture in the middle of the wall and we bought two others. Hard to explain so here they are.



Bit of a bitch to get the effect and to make sure the gaps were the same, you should have seen me prancing around with a spirit level to make sure it was all straight. But they do look good.

And here is a broader shot that encompasses the bed etc.


Well I think that's enough for one day, time for a cup of coffee and a chill out on the sofa.

Morning After

Seems my blog was involved in a server problem Friday and Saturday so could not put up my normal whinging posts. Any way Saturday was a bad day, Started arguing from around 11am and continued well into the afternoon, seems she can't get her head around why I'm struggling to forgive her slight overspend. For fuck sake women you blew £65,000.

This is now driving me nuts and what makes it worse is that I can't afford to do anything about it. So she has fucked me both ways, I can't leave and I'm dying being here.

Anyway life's a bitch eh!

On a brighter note I watched the film The Constant Gardener Directed by Fernando Meirelles
well what a film, very moving and gets you really thinking about what the west is really doing to the world and the people in it, also questions the whole ethical issues of pharmaceutical companies also how much possibly goes on in the world that we really don not know anything about.

It's a passionate film about husband and wife who have separate careers but hers is very secret and she will not tell her husband what it's all about until she dies in an ambush. Her husband then decides to find out for himself what she was working on and that's when it all come to light.

Very moving, very thought provoking. 8/10

Anyway that's enough from me today, I may post later but have to go and do the shopping now. Umm what to cook for tea next week. Well I let you know sometime!! xx

Space

Well I know that my special friend 'D' is no longer reading these posts so for the moment I'm really talking to myself which feels kinda strange, I am leaving her alone as she needs her space to sort stuff out. Although I must admit it's only been 24hrs since I Last emailed her and I'm finding it hard not to write an email. I'm not sure what I am feeling at the moment, a little on the outside I suppose I really want to give her a hug and tell her everything will be OK but that will never happen.

I have confirmed the sale of www.librautomotive.co.uk today so that will soon be apart of my history. Still life goes on. It's getting rather sad I seem to be losing everything I care about and going backwards instead of forwards.

Office was quiet apart form a team playing skittles in the walkways, and boy today they did get rather rowdy. I think I need a good blow out down a pub.

Umm a pint that sounds nice even though I'm not a big drinker. No one on MSN either tonight so really quiet, I have put 4hrs into my project that needs to be complete by end of March it's going OK but not where it should be at this late stage, but I'm sure I'll get there. [Sigh]

Well it's 8.50pm and I have just about had enough for today I can't think of anything else to put down tonight. So bye for now xx

iPods the death of me

OK here's the thing, I decided to move my iTunes from one PC to the other so I can look to clear off a PC as it's running pig slow but that's another blog, anyway there's me thinking it would be bloody simple to do, save tracks (2000) in all into a folder and then just import them in one go. Oh no the bloody thing needs me to click on each bloody album what a jerk off system.

Who in Apple is pissing themselves laughing at the thought of some dick sitting here clicking and waiting for each album to download. Shit you call this modern technology bull shit it's utter rubbish. If you have iTunes what ever you do do not move PC's

Worse still is my freind lost the folder where his was backed up in and had to re install all his albums. If anyone out there is iPod savvy and knows a quicker way to do this then please let me and others know for future reference.

I really have not got time to sit here and import each album individually.

God damn Apple. and there was me thinking about buying an apple laptop. Well me thinks I'll have to re think that one although they do look really good and I can imagine suitting in ythe lounge typing my glog using one of those. ummm

Anyway I'm calming down abit now as I'm half way through my albums. I cannot live without my iPod i must be mad.

Oh and I'll probably get Apple emailing me cos I'm in breach of copyright using their images but hey it's a free world and they are getting extra advertising.

So how was my normal day? well it was OK people have seen an application I built in the office and they are all wanting it, IT have given me another laptop to upload this software on to whicjh is nice, although they have realised the importance of this application so I'm bracing myself for an onslought of requests for additional info and also more developement. I'll have to put a screen shot here so you all can see what I woek on in my home office.

Megs has a cols at the moment but she is being really good no moaning or whinging not like someone I could mention but I won't. Megs had piano lessons and had to show me that she can now play with two hands. I gave her a shock when I played a tune with both hands. Shocked me too mind I have not played the piano for ages even though it's sat right next to me.

Years ago in my teens I used to have an a Commodore Amiga and all it had on their was mixing software and me and my mates would spend hours compiling electronic tunes I have a tape here as well which I have been throwing around for ages and just realised it's the very one we recorded stuff to. How strange. I must listen to it either to make me laugh or cry on how good it was.

Anyway that's enough ranting for today, remember DON'T move your iTunes once it's set up

Oh and if my spelling and stuff is crap please excuse as I have not got time to do a spell check and I'm typing so fast I can't see my fingers move he he. ;)

I feel sooo good

After a weekend of refletion and change of attitude I'm feeling much better and have got things back on track, hope this lasts though.

Good day in work today also on my work getting stuck in now. Oh it's sunny and warm in central park in NY I have just been informed by WNYC radio station in New York. Yes I experimenting with my iTunes.

Shame it's bloody freezing here in Barry and it's trying to snow. Spoke to my freind in Spain and it's Sunny and 20 degrees well I'm gutted.

I think it's time to up sticks and move over to the house in Spain full time. BRING IT ON.

I'm not really concentrating on this at the mo I'm trying to hold down three conversations at once which is proving beyond me so if this post reads funny please excuse me.

Had enough of that radio station they are boring. Any way this is not going so well so I'll leave this post for today and continue tomorrow.

Drawing lines

Just had some disappointing news which on a personal basis at this time in my life is not a bad thing, remember I bought www.librautomotive.co.uk and was merging my company with another to make one big multi branded company well...

It's off, Talking to the senior staff & Directors today I have come to the conclusion that it would not be in my interest to continue to run the business, there seems to be a lot of politics between certain people and I just don't want that crap.

So what have I done. Simple I am selling off the stock and closing the business down. 1 months notice has been given to staff at the meeting and the others will get theirs in the morning.

Why don't people work together why do they insist on trying to be the boss, I just don't get it. Surely a small team of people can work together and produce some good quality work. All I asked of them was to draw up a re-launch plan for the new business and pursue new buying opportunities which I even supplied the contacts. Oh no they have their own ideas lets not listen to the new owner lets do it our way which produced Zip nothing.

Ah well such is life be putting this down to experience and moving on.

Had a late Sunday lunch in a country pub today to celebrate my Step Grandmothers 80th birthday, very nice meal and conversation was pretty good as well. Nice to be reminded what you got up to in your teens NOT! why do Grand parents and parents enjoy telling you all about the stuff you wanted to forget. he he

Anyway more on this and more after I have drunk a few bottles of wine (Red) I need some after today. Here's a tip NEVER AGREE TO A MEETING ON A SUNDAY.

On reflection

Umm sometimes in our lives we need to take stock of what we have been doing, recently I have been wrapped in a situation (all of my own doing) which I now see as selfish and wrong and in doing so I believe has ruined a friendship that could have been good for both parties involved.

Sitting here reflecting on what I have done I realise why I am at such a low point in my life, it's all down to me. I have forgotten the reasons why I am married and have a child, I had dreams and I am realising that I have failed to attain most of them and for some unknown reason I am looking for excuses to get out of the situation.

How do I move forward, well I think it's to forgive people who have let me down, and let go of all the hurt I feel for what really should have been dealt with a few years back and not letting it eat away until I become a SAD unhappy man.

We need to reflect back on the reasons why we got married, who the person is what you liked about that person. If there is nothing there then that's the end time to move on, but if your memories are of better times then surely we can ignite that flame.

I find children although I have only one and I love her loads it's hard, always wanting attention making their needs come first but I remember someone once telling me you married your wife not your children and thinking on that subject I believe it's true, would you rather commit 100% to your child and neglect your partner or try and balance both as marriage really is a full time occupation you need to work at it 24/7 and only now am I realising this.

I always complained about being bored, frustrated and alone but really that was an excuse for not making changes, routine sets in and life becomes dull, boring and depressing but only I can change that only I can become positive again and change the routine agreed that certain tasks in life have to remain the same but leisure time should be fun and interesting.

Anyway I hope that writing all this down will help me to move forward in a more positive forgiving way. And strengthen my life. I hope that my sudden realisation is not too late to mend some almost burnt bridges but only time will tell.

Time to change, Time for action, Time for fun, Time to get my life back.

I'm back

Well I'm still alive even though the past few days have been rather an emotional rollercoaster, I seem to be happy one minute and then really depressed the next, realising that something I want I will never have which has been on my mind for a while, although today I started to get my head around the whole thing, which means the gloves are now off and I can now have a laugh.

Flirt well my girl you aint seen nothing yet!! I want to have a good laugh from now on so watch out babe I'm coming!

Work was pretty dull and I have struggled all week to get motivated but nothing new there then I here you say. I have had a good evening with my work started to put together a project that has to be ready for the end of the month I have canibalised an application I built in 2004 to the vary day how spooky is that. So I'm more positive now. Hense the more up beat posting.

See it is work that gets me down when things are starting to go into place I feel great, but when the pressure is on I go down hill rapidly.

Anyway watched a great fil the other night You've got mail
I love that film soo much, anyway with my new PC still in factory settings mode I decided to change some of the sound effects namley the new mail sound to guess what...... Meg Ryan saying "Three little word You've got Mail" it's great click here to hear it also there are tones of others to download for free.

I love the ending when she says "I secretly hoped it was you" ahhhhh!!

Oh yeah also my daughter Megan "Megs" is named after Meg Ryan we were watching Courage under fire the night we had a water leak and we had not decided on a girls name how cool, didn't realise at the time that Megan had become a very popular name, ah well it's still a cool name for a cool little girl.

Ha she has just said it "Three little words You've got Mail" only junk though nothing of any real interest, I don't get many emails these days only work stuff HINT HINT also I noticed that a ceratin person is no longer reading these, not that I surprised but COME ON get with the programme this is the best and most unpopular blog on the net.

I was saying the other night how I don't really talk these days, well I am trying to get out of the habit so I'm reading the local paper (I have it delivered every day but never read it) I find news depressing nothing nice happens any more tell me it's not true, I'm going to dtart a newspaper that is only filled with GOOD POSITIVE news bet I become a millionaire over night! yeah and my cousin was Rupert Murdock.

I have stats attatched to this blog now so I can see where my visitors are coming from so watch out I may pick on one of you soon, just for kicks.

OK weather, now you can't have a positive blog without a weather report so here it is.

CARDIFF Showers 9/4 degrees (They don't want to be caught out so give a choice we can decide for ourselves whether it's bloody freezing or not. As our foreign visitors find out here in Wales IT ALWAYS RAINS!!!

Well I'm off to go and watch Hotel Babylon (Only a modern day version of Cross Roads) he he see ya soon.

It's Hard

Very short post tonight, just to say I am finding it hard. 'D' will understand.

I have agreed to back off a situation to allow things to take it's course and I am finding it very hard at the moment I hope I can get through it.

Bye xx

Life is changing

Well sorry but could not put a post up yesterday as this system was down, but Saturday night was a revelation, I had a good chat with Just, the first in a long time, I explained I was not happy and what I felt was the best course of action. As you can imagine it was not the most joyous of occasions but no raised voices only calm talking.

Sunday was hard a hard day I was so low I could easily have done something stupid, but I took Megs to the park so she could practise her inline skating and play on the swings and slides of course.

Today well I could not get my head into work at all, some news hit me sideways a bit and I could not really concentrate on the tasks in hand. I'm not going to go into any details here.

I have worked really hard tonight done 3 hours Admiral work and just about to make a start on one of my projects so only a short one tonight. Bye for now xx

Sat at home on a Saturday!!

Saturday evening and sat here doing my typing therapy, listening to Five star Rain or Shine, well 'D' has a lot to answer for, FIVE STAR me never....

The day has been filled with DIY again, only painting and little jobs here and there but time goes so quickly these day's now I understand (Hang on music stopped , that's better), what my mum used to say don't wish your life away as time goes so quickly.

Watching a TV programme and watching kids sing songs and the winner was a hit back in 1983 over 20 years ago and it felt like yesterday, I remember when I was twenty and thought forty was ages away and now only 3 years to go, god where has time gone. As you can tell I'm thinking back to my teenage years it has to be the record, I tried to ring my mate Dave this evening as I really need to get out and have some drinks, but he is not around so I'm stuck here with my thoughts which as you know is dangerous at the best of times.

It's official well according to some websites I have been looking at, I am still suffering depression as if by my postings you could not tell, not sure what I am going to do about it yet though, I have not and will not take tablets I prefer to fight it I beat panic attacks and anxiety well most of it, the worst has gone, so if I can beet that I can beat depression.

I know 'D' will be saying finally he's admitting he is not 100%!! well I know and I will get sorted some how.

Meg's is staying over her friends house tonight which is nice but if we had prior warning I would have made sure I was out this evening having some fun not sat here typing this. Ah well never mind. Sunday tomorrow not sure what I am going to do yet the garden needs sorting so may make a start on that depending on the weather, today was nice and sunny Meg's went to the park to practise her skating alas I could not join her as I was up to my eyes in paint, so no pics.

Anyway that's it for today hopefully I will be back tomorrow for more exciting instalments from this guy in Barry, feeling sorry for himself as always. xx

Thank Crunchie it's Friday

Well I'm back again for another therapeutic typing session, got a shock today as I walked into the office a beautiful young lady was sat in my friends desk. after a double take it was my friend 'D' doing overtime. What a pleasant surprise that was. Alas I was in a meeting when she left so couldn't say good bye...

Carried out a lot of work today and I even forgot to plug in my iPod that's how busy I was, but after 4 hours as usual got up walked out heading for the car. No School run on Fridays so popped into B&Q to pick up some paint and a yard brush as I plan to do a little painting (Not much just a little) and start to clean the garden up ready for the spring. For a bit of fun I may take a before & after photo and put here. he he.

Strange thing happened in B&Q though a shop assistant turned and said to me cheer up right out of the blue. This chap must have been in his 60's and I was surprised by that, then I started thinking am I really that sad that people now turn around to me and say cheer up. Oh my god I have a problem.

I smiled to take an MSN picture recently and I must admit it did feel really strange and it hurt!! Saying that though the other day when I smiled at 'D' that really felt good, but I can't manage to reproduce it ah well a one off I suppose.

Anyway what exciting things are going to happen this weekend, well I certainly not going to Ikea, for one they take money out of my wallet whilst I'm not looking and I have had meatballs far too often so no Ikea. umm well that means I'll be staying at home, that's it I'll stay at home and make some meatballs doh! I have a car actually 2 but I reckon it could drive it's self on the weekends, Ikea non stop and then Tesco. If my car saw the M4 it would probably pull over and either have a panic attack or go on strike.

I promise myself that I will book a hotel for the weekend you know nice family break and all that, well I get to the booking stage and make an excuse why we can't go. Luckily I don't tell the others of my great idea as that would be suicidal.

Anyway I'm rambling again, had a Chinese tonight it was nice not brilliant but nice, not doing any work tonight not that I have done much all week I think I'll right this week off as a total waste of time.

I just may load up Huntsville and have another go, as 'D' is finding out it is very addictive. Sorry hun!!

Anyway have a great weekend what ever your up to and I'll be back soon (Well tomorrow probably) xx

World Book Day

My mind is running wild at the moment with different things, a lot is stemming from really struggling to get this project together, I know I have mentioned it before but I think that is what is causing me to think about stupid stuff.

The day was let's say drab, the usual things going on in to the office I managed to clear January's emails and requests. No one around really to talk too, just did my 4 hrs and got up and left.

Anyway 'deep sigh' I have brought this on myself and only I can deal with it.

Megs had a fun day in school today as it's World Book Day and her school love to have fun with it so all the children had to go to school in their PJ's. Here's a pic of her before she left this morning.

I'm now sat here it's 8.05pm and I have done very little on my work, I just can't get into it. Ah well there is always tomorrow. Thanks 'D' for your friendship it means a lot, and I promise to stop spooking you, well I'm going to really try from now on. ;) xx

St Davids Day

Dydd Gwyl Dewi hapus . (Happy St. Davids day in English).

Some facts about St. David:

St David's Day has been a national festival in Wales since the 18th century.
Many people will wear either a daffodil or a leek, which are both symbols of Wales.
The other Welsh symbol, Y Ddraig Goch (the Red Dragon, Wales's national flag).

And here's Megs sporting the national costume.

Megs had a great time in school today as they have a big celebration and competitions, also she sat in the car talking Welsh which was different, I can speak some welsh but don't get the opportunity to use it that much but it's the type of language once you know the basics it's quite easy to hold a fairly decent conversation. We finally went back to English at 6pm. Only because there is not a word for your Pizza is ready.

Down loaded a song that 'D' was listening to tonight do you remember the 80's group Five Star
well I downloaded the song Rain or Shine here are the lyrics, I listened to it over and over and it takes me right back to the good times. The words are very poignant at the moment.

The office was good today I had a wicked smile off 'D' which made my day, again simple things make such a difference. Work was OK although a lot of running around the office today sorting out users PC's, makes a change from sitting at my desk with my iPod.

I'm really struggling to get my head back into work when I get home, I start off at around 4pm and stop for tea around 5pm. Back to it around 6.30 until 10pm but my working habit has gone. I have spent the past few hours clicking in and out of one of the projects not really doing anything.

One project has to be delivered by 31st March and I have not really started it, I'll get there I'm sure.

I have switched off from the family at the moment got my headphones on and Madonna is singing in my ears, her new album confessions on a dance floor is great.

Anyway, time to push on lots to do but at this moment I feel like jumping in the car and going for a long drive. I'm not depressed or anything quite the opposite I just want to get out and hit the road at speed. You know what I mean driving at full speed with the wind in my hair.

Oh before I go I have been asked by a special friend to clarify a post I put up last Sunday when I said "Love well there is no such thing what ever anyone tells you", I love my daughter Megan very much and would protect her with my life. I was referring to adult type love, oh I'm going to dig another big hole here so I'll leave it at that.

Time to go now so Dydd Gwyl Dewi hapus and I hope you like the picture of Megan.